Everyday Stranger

So boys, feel free to

So boys, feel free to avert your eyes to the previous posts.

I bought "The Insight Guide to New York City", since Partner Unit and I are going there together over Christmas. I have been to NYC a few times but he has never been, so I bought the book in case I was missing something that could be of interest. And because I am pretty thorough (read: anal retentive) when it comes to travelling, I read the Traveller's Information Section. You know, where they tell you what the currency is (thank God, I wasn't sure if my home country still used dollars) and the voltage (like anyone actually understands what they are talking about there. Why can't they just show a picture of the pegs on the adaptor and leave me alone)?

And it was there that I got pissed off.

It was clear that this guide was published in the UK, since they kept using the words "quaint" and "charming". Neither are words I would generally associate with New Yorkers, but ok, I can fly with that. But it was when they talked about issues for women travellers that I got angry.

The book said that the U.S., unlike Europe, had an extremely limited supply of female sanitary products, and the average uptight European would best be advised to bring their own (OK, I added the uptight adjective, but you get my drift.)

WHAT? WHAT THE? HUH?

Excuse me. I'd like to introduce myself. I am an American living in Europe. I can tell you, without any hesitation or moment of delay, that in the U.S. you can walk into a grocery store and bask in the blissful rays of tampons. Light sparkles and reflects off of hundreds of shrink-wrapped goodies, all a gift from the Period Santa. Hundreds of options of tampons alone, all in a variety of fresh scents, and in a rainbow of fruit flavors (oops, sorry. Got my General Mills longing mixed up with the feminine product longing).

What you get in Europe is two options. You can have the earth-nature-yogurt-sucking-crunchy-goodness-asbestos feeling tampon which rips off the flesh as you insert or extract it, or you can buy a pygmy hamster conveniently sized for the modern Viking woman. These are your choices. Unlike the U.S., where I can opt for Super Maxi Ultra Lite with a smoky cherry finish.

Don't fuck with me, Insight Guide, about tampons. You have no idea how grouchy you can get after four days of pygmy hamsters.

-H.

PS-my apologies to The Insight Guides family. I meant the "Lonely Planet Guide to New York City". It's Lonely Planet that should be abused, not Insight Guide.

Posted by Everydaystranger at September 18, 2003 08:59 AM | TrackBack