I have an anger control problem, remember. So when I read absolute vacuous shit like the nonsense spouted in the below article, I want to get a little bit bitch-slappin' happy.
Wired Nerve had asked some questions on his lovely, cunnilingus friendly site about the "Real Man", as according to the AskMen.com site, aka "Men who have little dicks and need to get a clue about the inner workings of a woman's body instead of comparing stereo equipment" website. Allow me to quote this piece of inanity:
A real man focuses on power, money and family. He doesn't focus on sex. Sex comes as a result of having power, money and a wife (and if she doesn't satisfy you, there are plenty of other women who will, especially when you are powerful and rich).
WHATEVER. Was the guy who wrote this shit one of the boys that had to satisfy themselves during the dorm years with a magazine called "Juggs" and a can of Crisco? Did you ever get dates, or just stay in your room watching Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street" until your fly busted and you ran out of hair gel? If you have to be rich and powerful to get it, there's a word for you-prostitution. And here's a news flash, ace-you don't satisfy your wife, she sure as hell won't be satisfying you. I don't see, anywhere in the most insulting Neanderthal piece of media since the song "Spank My Bitch Up", anything about how you should just shut up and make your woman scream with orgasms. You do that, and your dear little stay at home wife might actually fuck you, instead of heading for Juan, the Pool Boy. After all, you will be so powerful that you will have a pool. And at that rate (and after all that Crisco), his hose will definitely be bigger than yours.
A real man knows that, outside of his barber, all his personal hygiene needs must be taken care of by a woman.
Again, were you born under a rock? Did you think that just cause you are the all-powerful bread winner that women would come flocking to you, just to be able to reach under your towel during the massage and jerk you off just because they wanted to get a little power semen on their hands? I don't think so, cowboy.
Here's a news flash. You want to be a real man? Here's my insider view of it:
- Tell your woman you love her. Often.
- Cry if it warrants it. That whole "just be a man" bit is so Dr. Phil.
- Go muff diving often, and without prompting. It will earn you points.
- Take care of the woman when she needs it and asks for it, but for Chrissake we are adults and can handle ourselves too.
- Don't fuck around with us about your career being more important than ours. You want to think that? Three words for you: Mail Order Bride.
- Be there to do man things like fix the satellite dish and order wine. Also be there to do sensitive things like write us sweet notes and sponge us off in the shower.
And for Gods sake, don't write stupid articles like that.
-H.
Posted by Everydaystranger at September 27, 2003 04:48 PM | TrackBack