October 22, 2003

The Shape of Things

It’s time to adjust the minge.

I have been growing it out, since I wasn’t sure what to do next. I had stripped it to a Brazilian landing-strip, then had a go at it and made it look like an inverted lightbulb (note to self: do not attempt to trim the beaver while drinking and watching Colin Firth. No good can come of it.)

Now it’s grown back in and, before it is suspected to be the nesting area of a protected species of Eagle, it is time to take it down a notch. I have some time in San Francisco where I may be visiting a waxing parlor (or may just drink and watch Colin Firth, see what other interesting things happen then). Suggestions are welcome.

Trimming is very important to me. I like my men to ensure that I am not flossing before my main meal when I head down to the buffet line. Please, boys, take away the Brillo pads. I will do the same in return. I can’t imagine that a man eases off a tiny thong, looks down and says “Marlon Perkins, here I come!”

I know I wouldn’t.

The first time I was with a woman, I was damn appreciative that she had uber-attention paid to her muff.

It was years ago, and it was actually in a situation involving some man-folk, too. Yes, that’s right. A crazy college swapping situation.

(Note: Remember-I was an anthropology major. We are waaaaay more liberal than the electrical engineering students.)

Anyway, an evening was ongoing, replete with alcohol. My then-boyfriend (let’s call him Adam) and I were on one couch, the other couple (let’s call them Peter and Carrie) were on another. A game of truth or dare (come on now…once you start drinking it up, who chooses “truth”?) got racy, and soon Peter and Carrie started to go at it, while my boyfriend and I started up too.

Then, suddenly, Peter looked up at Adam.

“Say Adam.” He said. “Want to come and try Carrie?”

And thus the swinging commenced.

It was an odd situation, not the least because we all knew each other and were sort of couples. So we sort of went at each other for a while, not really in earnest, but more because we were fueled by a lot of alcohol and a little curiosity.

And then Carrie broke away from Adam the Big Rider and came over to me.

And girl action started.

Now, I had it pictured in my head, all womanly softness, wet lips, and moaning. What I got was more of a dog and pony show. Some kissing (she was terrible), some breast action (she was mad for it), and then some muff diving.

And that was interesting.

She tasted like melon, or like something hot and sweet and unmovable. I really dug the taste of it. She was completely shaved, and her clitoris was actually hard to find. She made odd squeaky nosies, either due to my performance or the hotness of the situation, I am not sure which and either are equally complimentary. I went at her for a while more out of curiosity than any skill, and it is safe to say that she did the same for me-she went at me more like a dog lapping up a dollop of ice cream on the floor than any kind of deep, intensive orgasmic moment.

And we didn’t get each other off, instead went back to the man folks and had them take care of it. But at least I could check that box off. I had been with a woman. I liked it, it was quite nice. And it was just the first time I had done it, more times would follow.

Where am I going with this, you may ask? What utter deepness and incredible steaminess could stem from such a telling? Why would you relate such an utterly personal experience to us?

What shape should my minge be? I reply. That’s all.


Posted by Everydaystranger at October 22, 2003 03:41 AM | TrackBack

For the past few years, I've been shaving my lovely wife every few months (with trims in between). I don't care for complete hair removal, it gives me the feeling of being a child molester. I shave everything but the hair at the bottom of her belly, (leaving what we call a landing strip).
Looking at her from the front when she's standing, you wouldn't know she was shaved. But when your face (or any other body part) nears
her parting thighs...'tis wonderful.

Posted by: haveayen at February 6, 2004 07:30 PM

Personally, I usually opt for just shaving it all off. It's not artistic, but it works for me. I appreciate when a guy does it for me, so why not!

Posted by: JaxVenus at November 10, 2003 03:04 PM

I don't like the completely shaved look, for women or men. It's too prepubescent for my tastes. My latest man unexpectedly shaved all of his pubes and it kinda freaked me out. Nice trim is what I prefer. And on myself, I completely shave the area where the action is, but leave a nice natural looking view on top, trimmed short.

Posted by: D at October 22, 2003 07:48 PM

Two words: crop circles.

Posted by: David at October 22, 2003 07:14 PM

The complete shave is fun, but it lacks a certain oomph. I currently have a circle - yes, a circle - directly above the juicy bits. The gent loves it - he ends up unconsciously stroking it afterwards.

Why not try The Tuft?

As for razors...gotta have the Mach 3 Turbo. Like butter, baby. Butt-er.

Posted by: Kaetchen at October 22, 2003 06:14 PM

I've done the total shaving thing a number of times (it's even better when someone else shaves you!) Not sure if I feel like doing that this time or not.

Posted by: H at October 22, 2003 05:40 PM

I say put a word.. or more than one word.. "unload here" or "handle with care"

Posted by: pylorns at October 22, 2003 05:09 PM

You said "minge" and for that, I love you. Even though you don't know me from Adam, except that I wasn't the one on the couch doing the naughty stuff.

I always like hearts. I think they're kinda cute, and you don't have to have uber-hair going on for it. Just round the edges and do a lovely V in the top-middle.

And for the ultra clean smooth shave for the lower parts (where faces go), I highly recommend the Seiko CleanCut. I love mine.

Posted by: Sassy McSmartpants at October 22, 2003 03:55 PM

I agree with Wired Nerve on this one.....you should go bald eagle this time and see if you like it.

Posted by: Jennifer at October 22, 2003 03:54 PM

One of the coolest trims I ever encountered was a big arrow pointing in the direction of interest.

Posted by: Jim at October 22, 2003 10:59 AM

Shape? What SHAPE? Go the way of the imitation Mona Lisa fluff.

I'm not exactly sure what prompted this thought, but it presented itself whilst reading this post so I'll deposit it here:
Imagine a penis with varicose veins.

..Yeah. I need a hobby.

Posted by: Jamie at October 22, 2003 09:53 AM

Ummm, I'm going to go take a cold shower now.

Posted by: Joey at October 22, 2003 08:53 AM

How about going totally bare. Nothing at all. I can not get my partner unit to do it, although I did it for her once and she did not like it at all... Honestly, I did not mind one bit and it did not itch like she said it would. Now when I lay out by the pool I do keep the area shaved a bit, because I would not want to see anyone in a thong or speedo with pubic hair sticking out...


Posted by: Wired Nerv e at October 22, 2003 03:56 AM
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