November 05, 2003

The Aftermath

Believe it or not, I had another funny, light-hearted post lined up for today, the same post that should have been posted on Monday about the strange happenings between men and women.

Then my life went to hell in a handbasket, and it has been postponed. Again.

All this, and my blog not only passed the 10,000 mark on site meter, but I achieved over 500 hits yesterday. I am not sure if it is my sex posts or more like "let's go view the nut in the nuthouse", but whatever it is, I appreciate it.

My Volvo-Man saga continues and has, in fact, gotten worse.

As you know, we had an accident on Monday which was not my fault but which the impotent bastard painted as my fault. I dismissed it from my mind, as much as I could, but I confess it still really burned me up, badly. When Partner Unit and I went to lunch yesterday, we tried to discuss it.

"I'm so angry about it, still." I said, eating my lesbian-er, Lebanese-food slowly.
"I know, but there's nothing you can do about it now." he replied.
"Still, if I ever see him, I'm going to kill him."
"No, you're not, honey."
"Oh yes I am."
"No you're not."
"Really, it's for the best of mankind that I do."
"If you see him again, remain calm, and we will call the police."
"Why? So that they can come and mock me again?"
"Because that is how things are done here."
"Well, I prefer things my way. If I seem him, I'm going to go after him."

I should be a fortune teller.

I went to my boxing class as usual. Best Friend couldn't go with me tonight, since he was busy with wife and child duties. So I went alone and partnered with a scary chick named Sara. As we neared the end of the workout, I was beginning to feel good. I was doing uppercuts, which I am very good at, and sweating like mad. I looked up, across the gym, and saw a man sitting on a bench tying his shoes.

My heart stopped. It was him. I knew it.

I dropped my pads and turned to Sara. "I'll be right back." I said, sprinting off, leaving her looking confused.

I walked up to him. "Excuse me, but do you drive a Volvo?" I asked nicely.
He looked at me and smiled. "Yes I do." he replied. Then something happened to his face as he realized it was me. "It's you, you fucking bitch!" he said.

"Yes, it's me. What's your name?" I demanded coldly.
"Fuck you!" he snarled.
"No thanks. What's your fucking name?" I demanded again.

A gym staff person, walking by, hurried up to us. "What's the problem?" she demanded.
He turned to her and started sneering, and told her, in Swedish, that I had caused a car accident, was crazy, and so on. That's when I realized what I had to do.

I looked at him. "If you ever come near me again, I will make you pay. Do you understand me?" I asked.
He looked at me "You're fucking crazy."
"You're going to pay for making me look like a liar. Just remember that."
"Fuck you!" he screamed.

So, we didn't really have a screaming match, more like "harsh words". Which was enough, trust me.

I ran up the stairs and used the phone to call Partner Unit and the gym called security. Both dashed to the gym to meet me. Volvo-Man walked upstairs and left the gym. I waited at the desk for security. Then, weirdly enough, Volvo-Man walked back in and stood there, staring at me. And he walked and positioned himself by one of the exits of the gym.

I took off running for the other exit, abandoning all my clothes and gear in the gym, and ran into the building where I work. I logged on, called all appropriate parties, and entered that blog from yesterday. I am still a mess, really shaky and scared.

But here's where it all gets interesting and my world falls apart.

Security is working on banning him from the gym, and due to the fact that I felt threatened, scared, and in danger, I can most likely file police charges against him.

Ooooh...and boy, am I going to. I have to be honest here-it is now my personal mission to make his life as difficult as possible. Were he not in Company X, you bet your ass I would've posted his name and phone number. Am I going to lost karma points for revenge? Probably. Do I care anymore? Nope.

He and his manager are getting phone calls today from security. I am likely going to tell my manager what happened, just to be on the above-board about it. I have nothing left to lose. 12 more days to Judgement Day.

I know his name now, and his car license number. I also know where he works, and it is in an entirely different division from me, so I am not scared of him interfacing me at work. Here's the really interesting bit: since I have his license, I checked it online. His car came up as "kör förbud", which means "forbidden to drive". In other words, it didn't pass inspection and is not even allowed to be on the road. If the police man had remotely been doing his fucking job and just run this guys plate, the whole incident of the accident would have been pointless-Volvo-Man would've been busted for driving a kör förbud car.

The further interesting bit: he is a consultant, working with Company X. Bad news is with the PC helpdesk, so I worry about my pc and internet/Outlook access. But I am now launching a campaign to get his contract terminated. I figure it's the least I can do. Especially since from now on I am to have a security escort anytime I work out at the gym.

Fuck with my peace of mind, and I will make you pay.

When we got home, Partner Unit wanted me to talk about my feelings. I didn't want to. He persisted. I didn't want to. He kept digging. Finally, I erupted.

And it was horrible. I was ranting and crying, not at Partner Unit, but how I had been treated. What had happened. The fact that it was so incredibly unfair and due, in a large part, to the fact that I didn't take the conversation in Swedish.

Partner Unit suddenly blew up. Screaming in my face about how I obviously blame him for everything, that he is not enough of a man to fix everything. I was totally confused. What was he talking about? I'd never said any such thing. I was just angry that the car accident stuff had ever happened. Partner Unit slammed his fist into a wall, and stormed away. I ran upstairs. He followed. The anger continued, and he did a few things he is not proud of.

Finally, little Helen burst.

"I'm sorry you feel I was accusing you, but in no way did I do that!" I said. "This is what my feelings look like. You wanted me to tell you how I felt, and this is it. What I feel inside of me is raw, unsophisticated, and messy. It comes from never telling people how I feel. EVER! You asked how I felt. You got it. It was a mistake on both of our parts."

He looked at me and immediately calmed down. "Oh God, H. I'm sorry." he said.

By then I was crying beyond belief. "Don't worry about it. I told you my feelings. I won't make that mistake again."

And we are now politely civil, but some big metal trap door in my heart swung shut last night. I know now, more than ever, that Partner Unit and I are not going to be together much longer.

My relationship hangs in tatters. I have a scary Volvo-Man making my life very difficult. I may lose my job in 12 days. I'm not entirely sure, but I think that things are at an all-time low. And I am really, really sorry that this post is such a downer.

Funny post tomorrow, barring any Volvo-Man stupidity.


PS-I (breath deep, Helen) entered Guiness's writing contest. A short bit of work of mine is posted there, so take a look and rant away. It's the one entitled "Starting Over".

Posted by Everydaystranger at November 5, 2003 09:22 AM | TrackBack

mm, pass the chablis please.

Posted by: kat at November 5, 2003 09:16 PM

Hey, my comment that I left last night disappeared!

Anyway, ditto on what everyone else says. Solar flares, Saturn, etc... Betcha Volvo man is being a dick to try to avoid the cops.

{{{Helen}}}, we love you!

Posted by: jean at November 5, 2003 09:12 PM

"Why can't they make an energy bar for emotions?"

According to Heather, if they did, it would only be half the size of a regular emotion bar. :)

Stick with the chablis, take Ed for a walk and some roughhousing, more boxing, mindless movie entertainment, whatever it takes to escape for a little bit.

Posted by: Ted at November 5, 2003 09:05 PM

Oh darling girl, your Saturn is in retrograde, you're in the Bell Jar, your whole fucking life is changing. Hold on very, very tight to the things that you know. No matter what happens - the job, the Volvo fucktard, Partner Unit - you have yourself, with all the memories and life experience attached. Survive and grow. Look at the lovely online community you've built! We're here to support you whenever needed.

Posted by: Kaetchen at November 5, 2003 08:22 PM

God, I know just how you feel. I am so stressed over my relationship today I blew up over something that was my fault. I really feel bad about that, but I am just…well… tired…. Coming to a decision to end a relationship just rends your heart to shreds. I feel like I am being very selfish for even considering it myself. Like, I have not worked hard enough to make this thing work. At times all I can feel is “Fuck It…” and at other times I realize I will miss her more than I can stand… So here I am very confused and not sure what the right choice would be…. I am so sorry that you have to go through this also H.

BTW: Kick that Volvo man’s ass….

Also BTW: My new url is

Posted by: Wired Nerve at November 5, 2003 07:15 PM

"We can only read along with you and tell you we give you our support and try to muster some long lost psychic ability to send some love your way."

Well said Rob - that's exactly what I was thinking!

Posted by: Sue at November 5, 2003 06:33 PM

Kat-I'm doing it now. It's called: chablis :) (and no, that's not the name of a porn star).

Thanks for the hugs and the support guys. I really need it, I think my emotional stamina well has run dry. Why can't they make an energy bar for emotions? Whew...

Posted by: Helen at November 5, 2003 06:19 PM

damn you volvo man!

you deserve some rest and pampering! do something nice for yourself very very soon k?

Posted by: kat at November 5, 2003 05:50 PM

on a lighter note...

Ok, I've finnaly joined the frey... A story about Jim and Don.. and Helen.. by yours truly.

Posted by: pylorns at November 5, 2003 05:40 PM

I too tend to bottle up things and keep them inside, and so in my experience I wouldn't say that you will look back in a couple of months and laugh, though I hope you will be able too. Maybe the fact that you had a release at the gym and again at home will help put things in perspective, and allow you to let them go, laughing in the way I wish I could.

Posted by: Guinness at November 5, 2003 05:38 PM

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" I hope I never make you mad... :-)

And Pixy Misa's line made me think - It won't be just money and lawyers, but "lawyers, guns and money!" Although I've never figured out why they sent lawyers. Perhaps to us as targets? I don't know, but I'd guess shooting lawyers would be great for stress relief...

Posted by: Clancy at November 5, 2003 04:18 PM

Good God Ms. Molly what are odds he would be there. What are the odds u get back him and also the cop for not doing his job. I would sure as hell document everything so if they laid me off I could sue them and claim it was based on what happened at the gym. Who know u sue u win u own company X :)


Posted by: Drew at November 5, 2003 04:17 PM

Regarding Volvo Idiot---keep up the good work! As for the rest, I'm with Pylorns.

Posted by: Howard at November 5, 2003 04:04 PM

Helen, I see things working out. In the end they usually do, and for you, it will. A lot of times when you are in the midst of things you can't back up and take a look at the big picture because its too crazy, too unbeliveable. This is the case.

1. If there were police involved, call them back, let them know they "may" have over looked the whole liscence thing.

2. You have always known that partner unit and yourself were not going to last. Anyway there are plenty of good guys out there that do see the big picture better. Hell Don is infatuated with you. hehehe something I think Jim (already has) and I plan to use against him in an evil plot...

3. If you do loose your job, maybe its a sign to look into something else to do in your life.

4. hindsight is 20/20 I know you hear it all the time, so in a coulple months you'll be able to laugh at this. Everyone says that so it seems a bit clichie.. but they only say it because it is true. You spend your entire life trying to figure out why you are here, what your purpose is and when you reach old age, you are able to just sit back and die with the knoledge that you will only really know when you die. Why do you think old people in nursing homes simply smile and wave. They know your driving yourself nuts, it gives them pleasure.. they are sadists really...

Posted by: pylorns at November 5, 2003 03:55 PM

I like your style, H.

Posted by: Sassy McSmartpants at November 5, 2003 03:42 PM

I've found that blogs are great and horrible things. They're for you, a release that can be so cathartic. And they are for us, because some of us genuinely care for people and want to help if we can.

But we can't, not in any substantive way.

We can only read along with you and tell you we give you our support and try to muster some long lost psychic ability to send some love your way.

Here's some love, Helen

There you go sweetie.

Posted by: Rob at November 5, 2003 02:23 PM

Awwww, Helen .......we love you!!! {{{{{U}}}}}

Posted by: MiMo at November 5, 2003 01:28 PM

I think you've got the measure of him, Helen. Burn him, but don't get burnt yourself.

The irony would be if he had a blog too, and was writing about you......

Wonder what he'd say.

Add this *hug* to your ever growing pile.

Posted by: greywulf at November 5, 2003 12:35 PM

Well, sounds like Volvo Man is on his way to getting fucked. As well he should be, for harshing the mellow of our dear Helen.

Incidentally, how do you say "fuck you" in Swedish? That might come in handy.

I'm really, really sad for you about the aftermath with Partner Unit. I wish I could send you some of the leftover risotto, but I don't think it would be very good by the time it got to you.

Posted by: David at November 5, 2003 12:30 PM

Just say the word and we'll send money and lawyers.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at November 5, 2003 11:21 AM

I hate Volvo drivers. I should know, Mrs M and I drove one once. I hate them more now.

Posted by: Simon at November 5, 2003 11:16 AM

Oh Dear! H, am really sorry. Hope things get better. About the jobs bit, I do not think this incident will in anyway affect your job, remember, his car is not worthy of driving! I somehow feel that he knew this, knew that you couldnt speak Swedish and deliberately took advantage of the situation to evade getting under the scanner.

Hey! I've been working with lawyers for the past 2 years, and people do the strangest things to get out of sticky situations. So, as far as I can see, the ball is in your court as far as the volvo scumbag is concerned.

Posted by: Melodrama at November 5, 2003 11:03 AM

Awh. The problem with blogs is that you can't hug people at appropriate times. Or offer yourself as an upper-cut practice target.

Whatever rocks your casbah.

Posted by: Jamie at November 5, 2003 10:54 AM
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