Everyday Stranger

Glad to hear that you're crossing the bridge, luv. Good luck in GB.

Dearest, you're not banned. I respect and appreciate other views. Life would be boring if people all agreed all the time. You've never crossed a line with your opinions, and even when we don't agree, I have never had my feathers ruffled with your comments. Believe me-you'll know it if it happens:)

Comment away!

I developed a personal creed (all by my own self) years ago: If I have to justify why I'm doing something, I probably shouldn't be doing it. If it's the right thing to do, it needs no justification, right? The reason I mention that I developed it "all by my own self", is that up until I was about 30 (I'm now 38), most of my ideas and creeds were adopted from others (that's not all bad since there's a lot of people smarter than me out there). Yet another bonus to getting older.

I also try to live by the Golden Rule. Obviously the whole world doesn't live according to Solomon's creeds.

And just so you know, I will never EVER write anything that is intentionally inflammatory, unkind, or antagonistic even if I strongly disagree with someone. If I ever cross a line (as the fellow did when commenting about Kim) please let me know before banning me, and I'll apologize publicly and make sure it wasn't just a misunderstanding or typo. I do appreciate you hearing me out and enjoy reading your blog and everyone else's comments...even if we don't always agree :)

Solly darling-I do disagree. This is money that I am "owed". Severance packages here in Sweden are structured thus: If you have been employed less than 5 years, you get 5 months pay after you are let go. If you get a job within one month of being let go, you get a payoff bonus that is commensurate to one month salary and then no further payments.

If you have been employed more than 5 years but less than 20, you get 6 months pay after your let-go date, and then a bonus payoff up to three months after you are let go, if you find a job.

There is another package for those with more than 20 years service, but I don't know it.

This IS my severance package. It states that they don't wish to pay an employee a salary if they are receiving another salary from another company. If I don't tell them about Dream Job, I am doing nothing illegal. I am not stealing. There is no law here, only Company X's desire to save money.

If they want to save money, I can make a list for them. They don't get to keep 2 months of my severance package. I am not asking for anything extra-no computers, no pay-offs, nothing like that. I am only asking the severance package that I was promised.

The truth is, I won't be getting a salary from Dream Job until the end of April anyway, so I will only (possibly) be over-lapping one month, as it turns out (in both Sweden and the UK, you only get paid once a month).

In the US, if you have a severance package, the pay does not automatically end if you get another job in the duration. You just receive 2 salaries.

I am still not decided on this one. On the one hand, I want to keep the money, since it IS mine. On the other, I want Company X the fuck out of my life.

Is that worth one month's salary? Not sure. All I know is that no contracts have been signed, so I am not obligated to tell Company X anything.

You have to admit taking this money is dishonest, because you're not telling them the truth. If you told the truth, they'd stop the severance. They didn't HAVE to give the severance, right?

Stealing is taking what doesn't belong to you, and based on the way Company X structured their severance, you're only owed money until you start another job. Taking anything beyond that is stealing.

You can say it's money they "owe" you, but it really isn't. If they're not required to give any severance, then the rules they put forth are the governing rules. When I got laid off, I got 6 week's pay (1 week for each year of employment, 5+, and 1 week for vacation accrued). Should I have said, I expect 6 months severance and then take 6 month's worth of computer equipment to compensate me for what they "owed" me?

You're sharp enough to know they structured it this way to benefit as many people for as long as they could with the amount of money they had. They knew a certain number of people would find employment immediately, a certain number more would take 2 or 3 months, and so on; so they made what little money they had go as far as they could.

I don't know if you check previous days' comments but decided to give my two cents' worth here rather than on today's (Monday's) comments partly, because it's so long. If you disagree, I'd be interested to hear why.

I've been thinking alot about what Donna said, and imagine I will keep doing so for some time. She has a point that I hadn't thought of before. And Solomon-it's not stealing. That money is my severance allocated to me.

And Kylan-I love Gaelic. Wow.

O. My. Goodness.

I've been mentioned (by name) by *the* Everyday Stranger -- I feel honored ... I second Steve's emotion -- I must be a bona-fide gropie -- er, I mean groupie now ...

shucks and darn ... wow ...

anyway, adding to all the well-wishes that others have continued showering on you ... I certainly wish you all the best. You more than deserve it ... cast your dreams upon your star, Lovely Helen, your star is rising, and so shall your dreams ...

be well, mo chariadh ... be very well indeed.

Tioraidh!

Kylan

I'll drink your Kool Aide® anytime baby!

heh, Probably one of very few people moving to London for its "good weather" =)

welcome to my world (london). you"ll love living here, its everything it says it is and so much more. once you get over the weather and the rush that everyone is in. its wonderful.

Yeah-Luuka's going snowboarding! I trust her under your expert tutelage, Brass.

About the severance-if I had found a job within one month after being let go, I would have had a lump sum paid to me that was roughly equal to one month's salary. Then nothing after that. If I find a job anytime after that one month, the money ends abruptly.

In essence, that is my severance. I personally think it sucks, and since I was 3 months shy of a 5 year service, I got the shittiest deal that Company X had. Had they given me the 5 year deal, I would have been able to have a lump sum payment still.

I am very divided about the money, believe me.

And Steve-I love that you called yourself a groupie. Maybe I should be a cult leader:)

I'm looking forward to hearing about London, I've always wanted to go there.

I'm so glad things are looking up for you :) You truly deserve it after all you've been through.

Cheers!

Well considering that the current occupant of the White House (notice that I didn't call him the President) has a drunk driving record (and in fairness I should mention Bill's BJ) I hardly think that having your breasts massaged by a strange doctor at Mardi Gra should bar you from political office. You can always learn to steal if you have to LOL!

BTW, I'm thrilled that you mentioned me in your post. I feel like I am now an official member of the Helen Groupie Fan Club :-)

Um, before you make a decision about what to do with the money make sure you understand how expensive London and for that matter most of England is.

Unless things have changed a lot in the past few years since I was last there it's more expensive than New York and even good jobs pay less than the States (the taxes are higher too).

Having said that I LOVE Great Britain and London, I would have lived there if I could have found a good job and I'm sure you'll love it! But budget carefully... it's Expensive!

H, it may be in the fine print. Without you finding work it goes the full term. If you find work before the end of the term you may be entitled to a percentage of the remaining monthly stipends. Worth checking out.

I guess I'm confused. If it's severance, it is money they owe you for years worked etc. If it's welfare, then you shouldn't take it when you start your new job.

If it is,indeed, severance you should take that money. You lived up to your part of the contract and Company X should live up to theirs.

Brass

This has to be one of the weirdest severance packages I have ever heard of. Typically if they are paying you through May its because of years served, and has nothing to do with if you have another job or not. If you had lined something up the week after they gave you notice you basically wouldn't have gotten anything for your severance? This is actually a disinsentive to finding another job, very strange...

That said I say let them keep their pitty money, its chump change compared to a real salary in the UK and when measured aganst the mental anguish not working has caused you. Not that I have any anomosity towards Company X, but I hope they choke on it =)

Dane

Why would you take what isn't rightfully yours? Company X has lived up to their end of the bargain regarding your employment. They never said you had a job for life, and after the first layoffs you CHOSE to stay and stick it out. And when they laid you off, they didn't try not to pay you.

Taking the money will be immoral, illegal, and dishonest. Is that the person you want to be? Won't you teach your children not to steal? I've heard it said, "An immature person does what he feels. A mature person does what is right."

Do what's right. Be grateful that you don't NEED the rest of that severance pay, because you have your dream job; and DON'T take the money.

Courtney, maybe we´re both petty ;-). But ending a relation like Helen is doing now, is definitely no easy peach. Miguel.

big change yes, but also big-time adventure. enjoy it, savor it, and hell, it'll make for some great stories! many of us will be living vicariously through you on this adventure.

and yay for strappy shoes! :-)

Take the money.

Am I a petty person if I confess to some envy? What a wonderful adventure you will have!

And yes, there's an unavoidable price to pay for having the courage to stand up for yourself - saying that you don't want to be Partner Unit's dependent in Sweden or China, saying that you want *this* job, saying that yes you love him but you cannot live like this - but if you're able/willing to pay the price, ah, such rewards...

Do not walk away from the money. Make them pay you. And if you think in any way shape or form that they do not owe you, go back and read this blog for the last two months or even further back. Remember Thanksgiving when you were waiting to find out if you had a job and they had announced it months before but left everyone hanging? All the stomach medicines that you've taken? Your mental health that has been in the toilet, (not to mention at the oven rack?) They owe you for those scars on your body, as well as the ones on your soul. Fuck them, they owe you, and personally, I'd be looking in the mirror with a twinkle in my eye knowing that they were getting a little of their own back. I don't understand why you'd hesitate for a second. X partner unit still works for them, it's no wonder he's saying not to do it, he still works there, but do you think his loyalty will ever be rewarded? About as much as yours was. Again, think of it as your putting a deposit on a new life in England money. Your taking the money does not make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person who is finally looking out for number one, and number one is finally you.

On a different note, Luuka has arrived in the Happy Valley. Frolicking and debauchery to follow.

Brass

Your new life doesn't really begin until the old one ends. Sad, but it's the way.

{{{U}}} You've been through so much. Now it is evident that you "have the stuff", and that you are coming out on top...I am really excited for you....

You definitely won't be disappointed by the Starbucks density in central London H. You can walk between them in less time than it takes to drink a double espresso.

As usual i don't feel qualified to give my opinion on your relationships and so forth.

What i can say is that i hope this all works out for both of you, with all my heart. I can also advise on possible adventures in London if you ever have time to explore having lived in and around the area a long time :)

Abs x

It's always hard when a relationship ends, especially a marriage, and most especially when you still love the person, but as the song goes "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough". I know this from personal experience also, and it's the hardest thing to do sometimes to know you have to do something when you don't hate the person. There's always that nagging "What if?" and "Maybe it's not so bad", but in the end you know what you need and want, and you have a new happier life waiting for you. It will all be work out fine in the end. I feel so bad you have to leave your puppy, though. I had to do that once, when I moved out on one of my exes, and it broke my heart, but I had no choice. Take lots of pictures of him, and at least you know he's going somewhere with people who love him and will be good to him.

It's wonderful to see you using words like "light, hope and promise".

A gig in London... consider yourself blessed young lady. I was there last Oktober and loved every minute of the holiday.

Watch your six come rush hour, it's like the Kentucky Derby; although the British definitely slow down for pubs. ;)

Go forth and conquer.