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February 11, 2005

Have You Celebrated Today?

Did you know that Tuesday was National Pancake Day?


It was.

And I didn't touch the damn things.

Earlier this month we had Groundhog Day. Tomorrow is National Darwin Day, where we celebrate the birth of Charles Darwin. It's immediately followed by Valentine's Day, where the hopes and dreams of women the world over are crushed when they unwrap the Dustbuster their man gave them, as they try to feign happiness.

We know that February has Valentine's Day, Groundhog Day, and President's Day, but did you know that February also has National Battery Day (the 18th), International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day (the 23rd), and National Pistachio Day (the 26th?)

You didn't?

Come on, there's prep work to be done for dog biscuit day!

If you look at a calendar or read a version of Cosmo, it's everywhere. National Quit Smoking Day. National Eat Your Veggies Day. National Bring Your Child to Work Day, which is torment for those of us that are already aware that a child's interest in drawing on a whiteboard really only lasts about 5 minutes, and the other 7 hours and 55 minutes of the day is spent with a tight smile on your face while little Timmy runs up and down the hallway looking for anything
to do. It used to be even worse when little Timmy realized my office was filled with toys, and my Mr. Potato Head was traumatized every year (thank God for home working now).

The year is filled with little nuggets of insanity. I found a website that lists all the celebrations and even compared it with some other sites-it turns out it's authentic, which makes me weep for the future of humanity. I have been limiting myself to just the major holidays-New Year's, Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, but clearly I am missing out.

What a gay and jolly time is to be had, for example, on August 8-that's Sneak Some Zucchini on Your Neighbor's Porch Day. What kind of wacky zaniness have I been missing! I could be leaving a demonstrative courgette on the doorsteps of all of my unsuspecting neighors! May 4 is International Find Your Soul Mate Day, a day which I guess most couples will have to spend in misery, hoping to God their loved one doesn't bump into the soul mate when they pop out to the shop to buy a pint of milk. And October 4 is Ten-Four Day-what giggly humor I will have ending all of my conversations with 10-4! Think of the applications! "I'll send that email, 10-4." Or "I'll just call the hospital, see if we can't get that fingertip sewn back on, 10-4." And "Oh God, I'm going to come, 10-4!"

But these are just the day celebrations. Don't start sitting on your laurels yet-the National Month celebrations are coming, too. December is National Tie Month, which really explains the standby male Christmas gift of neckwear. March is National Frozen Food Month, so time to buy your Sara Lee and your Birds' Eye. I personally am looking to September, as it's Fall Hat Month. I am always on the lookout for decent headgear.

I bet you didn't know today has not only one celebration, but three (better buy some Red Bull). Today is Be Electrific Day (hopefully a limited number of people celebrate this one), National Shut-In Visitation Day (provided they'll open the door to let you in), and Satisfied Staying Single Day (which is a patronizing suggestion, in my view, as it implies that single people are regularly miserable). This week is also Get Paid to Shop Week and Just Say No to Powerpoint Week (now there's two celebrations I can get behind).

I hate all of this. It's so fucking confusing. What happens if I want to celebrate National Fig Week now, as opposed to the first week of November? And why is National Soft Pretzel Month limited to April, surely that's something we can celebrate the whole year round?

We don't celebrate any of these, but now that I know there's a whole list of them, I think I will check in on them from time to time, if only to explain why I have a zucchini on my front doorstep.

Today will be spent working from home with my nice Angus also working from home. Then we're off for a night in London, as he has his Valentine's Day gift from me-I bought him tickets to see Queen's "We Will Rock You" show, then promises of dancing, too much food, too much alcohol and too much sex in the nice hotel room I booked for us, all of which I will do wearing girl clothes that reveal a lot of skin. We will follow this up in the morning by a McDonald's Egg McMuffin and a day around London looking at some reclamation shops before heading down to Brighton.

For me, today is National Love Your Boyfriend Up Day, a Day I can celebrate.

And I will be staying home with my back to the wall if we ever get a National Take One Up the Ass Day.

I'm just saying.


PS-Due to a trigger happy Munuvian, it appears you cannot use the word "sex" in the comments. I am severely pissed off (even more so than when the word "socialist" got banned) and would like whichever Munuvian who banned this word to please un-ban it.

UPDATE: Fixed. Jim saved the day.

UPDATE: To Sara at IP address I've banned you. Go vomit unhappiness on someone else's site. Move along now. You're not welcome on my site anymore. And just a hint: when someone closes comments, it means: don't comment. It's just a bit of blog etiquette.

Posted by Everydaystranger at February 11, 2005 10:49 AM .

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Out-of-context Quote of the Day
Excerpt: Courtesy of Munuviana's very own Everyday Stranger. "Oh God, I'm going to come, 10-4!" Gotcha covered there, good buddy....
Weblog: Rocket Jones
Tracked: February 11, 2005 12:01 PM
Bear Spotting
Excerpt: Luuka attended today's rocket launch. There's a picture in the extended entry, and I'll post a launch report and more pictures tomorrow....
Weblog: Rocket Jones
Tracked: February 13, 2005 02:28 AM


And let us not forget
The sixteenth letter of the Greek alphabet, p, was first used for the familiar value 3.1415… in the publication, “Synopsis Palmariorium Mathesios”, authored by William Jones in 1706. 2006 will be the 300th Anniversary of the introduction of the mathematical symbol p. Let's plan on a pi-paloosa of a celebration in 2006.
Pi Day is March 14th,

Posted by: IowaSlovak at February 13, 2005 07:25 PM

I think I'll just declare tomorrow International Breakfast Burrito & Flatulence Day.


Posted by: diamond dave at February 12, 2005 02:56 AM

Your mention of 10-4 day reminds me of Pie Day. Celebrated (by baking and eating pie, of course) on March 14, 3-14 ...

Think math. Get it?

Posted by: Frances at February 12, 2005 12:45 AM

please do not forget that this is the
World year of Physics.
n 1905, Albert Einstein wrote his legendary articles which provided the basis of three fundamental fields in physics: the theory of relativity, quantum theory and the theory of Brownian motion. The World Year of Physics in 2005 will provide the opportunity to celebrate the 100th anniversary of this Miraculous Year while raising the public awareness of physics. Arguably the most famous physicist, Einstein's international reknown will be the natural vehicle to attract public interest.

Posted by: iowa at February 11, 2005 11:23 PM


Don't be foregettin' National Talk Like Ye Pirate Day, Matey.

Posted by: Sigivald at February 11, 2005 09:06 PM

Thanks for NOt banning me Helen cause you just make me smile!

Posted by: CarolC at February 11, 2005 08:27 PM

thanks for the laugh today H! I really needed it. I am not adapting to easily to the move here. I can use all the humor I can get. I think I will check out that link lol.

Posted by: justme at February 11, 2005 08:11 PM

National Pancake Day should be easy to remember.

It's Mardi Gras.

Also known as Fat Tuesday, it was the last hurrah before Ash Wednesday and the tradition of abstinence for the forty days of Lent. You weren't supposed to have fat or eggs during that time, so you used them up.

A really simple way to use them up is to add a bit of flour and fry them up— pancakes. (Of course, most people today get their pancakes from a mix...)

We always had pancakes for dinner on Fat Tuesday. Yep. Dinner, not breakfast. So now you know that there's a *reason* for National Pancake Day.

Unless it's a complete coincidence.

Posted by: B. Durbin at February 11, 2005 06:20 PM

Crap, I knew I should have had Pancakes for Breakfast... wait, that would entail me to make pancakes at the crack of dawn... nah, not going to happen.

Posted by: amber at February 11, 2005 03:13 PM

According to my Simpson's calendar which lists a plethora of odd things we must never forget, today is White Shirt Day. Please everyone don't forget to wear your white shirt on this special day. Thank you.

Posted by: K at February 11, 2005 03:12 PM

So we can write "$ + ex + y $ocial + ist" and get away with it? Sweet!! (It wouldn't let me put an 'S', '$', or _ in front of those words...so we can't write them...lame.:( Not that I'm really looking to write either very frequently.

Are you saying a dust-buster ISN'T a good idea for Valentine's Day?:) The Super Model Mrs. Solomon LOVES to clean..."love", "clean"; the dust-buster seemed like the perfect merger of Valentine's Day and her passion: love + clean = dust-buster.

We're all amazed that Solomon and the Super Model have been married for almost 13 years. And for the record, I'm with Z. Hendirez on the whole "Good buddy" thing.

Posted by: Solomon at February 11, 2005 01:35 PM

Can we celebrate that new holiday with you, Helen? :)

Actually, the one serious one you left out, I felt, was the Celebration of Abe Lincoln's Birthday. He was a giant and well worth remembering.

Posted by: RP at February 11, 2005 01:20 PM


(Just testing. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at February 11, 2005 01:12 PM

Always found it ironic that they market "Boss Day" as a holiday. One my Boss makes more then me so the idea I should spend money on them is crazy. Second everyday is Boss day.

Posted by: drew7203 at February 11, 2005 01:04 PM

*sob* By mistake I had waffles on National Pancake day.

I'll just go stick my head in the oven now...

Posted by: Easy at February 11, 2005 12:56 PM

Everyday can be National Oral $ex Day, Jim.

In fact, I think I'm going to make that my own personal favorite holiday.

Posted by: Helen at February 11, 2005 12:21 PM

When's National Blow-Job Day? That one really needs to be marketed.

Posted by: Jim at February 11, 2005 12:05 PM

They sold 10-4 Day short. It should be "10-4, good buddy" Day. 10-4 is meaningless without a "good buddy" behind it! :)

Posted by: Z. Hendirez at February 11, 2005 11:43 AM
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