Something unusual happened to me Saturday night, in Wales.
I was walking back to my hotel from a very fun time dancing at a nightclub, when I looked across the street and saw a couple arguing. The girl was short and very slight, her boyfriend larger, taller, and with a pierced eyebrow. They were having a bit of a row, and it was clear that the girl wanted none of it. She kept trying to walk away, but he wouldn't let her get around him. She persisted, and it was thus that I found my attention riveted on what was happening. She kept trying to get past him, and then he grabbed her wrist and held her arm.
It was then that I snapped.
I was suddenly across the street, screaming at him. He looked thoroughly confused for about 30 seconds, and then he started in on insults on my American accent (or so I was told. I confess that I don't remember a thing of what was happening). Bystanders across the street started watching, and my friend I had been dancing with was grabbing my arms trying to restrain me. The guy's girlfriend was trying still to get away. He blocked her path again, and that was it for me. I got my arms loose from my friend and shoved the guy firmly in the chest. I remember screaming at him that a man should never, EVER put his hands on a woman in anger. That it is NEVER ok to touch a woman during a fight. My friend was trying to restrain my arms and tell the guy his behavior was not ok. The girlfriend was trying to keep him off me. The guy was screaming that he is simply trying to keep her from walking away. It was then that she bailed, while he and I continued yelling at each other.
Soon enough he walked on, still yelling insults over his shoulder. I was doing likewise. I had to turn the corner and put my head between my legs, I was shaking and so furious. I could have gotten more physical, I confess I WANTED to get more physical. My friend tried to calm me down and get me to take it easy, and I realized I had broken the strap of my favorite pair of black strappy sandals in the scuffle.
I tried to explain to my friend that no-it wasn't my business. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved. But when he touched her in anger, that was it for me. She was tiny, and he was not. No woman should ever have to be afraid that they are going to be struck, restrained, or pushed when they are fighting with the man in their life.
I am sure that they met up later and made up. He probably laughed about the crazy, interfering American. He probably also said that he never meant to hurt her, that she just "drove him to it." She probably forgave him. And they will probably be ok for a while, or at least until the next scuffle. I only wanted to step in and let her know, in some way, that what he was doing was not ok. It was not acceptable. And that it starts with obstructing the path and grabbing of wrists, but gets much worse than that.
I only wish that someone had once given me that message, earlier in my life when I could still have done something about it.
- H.
Posted by Everydaystranger at July 9, 2003 11:13 AM | TrackBack