The sun is shining, it's warm, we have a picnic planned all afternoon, so I decided...screw it...I'm working from home this morning. Now I know that this sounds flimsy at best, but the truth is that I do actually work at home when I say I will be working from home. I start to feel guilty that the corporate Gods will somehow JUST KNOW that I am not working, so I dial in on the network, diligently read all my mails and fire off replies/answers, and then check it a number of times throughout the day.
Anal retentive.
All this while going through my standard four cups of coffee. Doing the washing. Scrubbing the floors. You know, the domestic stuff that needs to be punctuated periodically by signs of life. Or at least by signs of steadfast compulsive cleaning, not sure which is more important.
I went out last night, had a pint (yum!) with a friend and then saw "Phone Booth". Quite an uncomfortable film, makes you feel like you should clear the air of any transgressions that you have committed, lest a man with a gun put his sights on you and make you confess.
It makes me think of a recurring dream I have had since I was a child. I am in a restaurant or some other crowded sitting, wearing a white button-down top and jeans. My hair is longer than it is now, and I am a little bit older. I am running away from someone with a shotgun, and he shoots me in the back as I run away. I can almost feel what it is like to feel that-like a brick being thrown at my back, only very hot, and then a feeling of something being lodged that I can't remove. It knocks me to the ground, I crawl a ways, then give up. Sometimes I wonder if this dream foretells my death. Or if I have simply been exposed to too much media. Or perhaps there is some third, wispy Freudian option along the lines of "my father should have hugged me more", who knows.
I have a number of recurring dreams, actually. And almost always similarly themed (other than the above gore-fest one). I wonder if it's just the brains' ways of doing a little tidying up too.
- H.
Posted by Everydaystranger at July 10, 2003 08:30 AM | TrackBack