Is a debate that is currently on hold in our household. Until then, may I introduce you to our existing children.
This is a picture of Maggie (named after Maggis Simpson) and Mumin (named after a Finnish cartoon called Mumintrollet). They are otherwise referred to in our household as "The Evil Bitches". I cannot be sure, but I imagine that I am the one who coined that name. They are not related, but look like the same cat. There is one difference-Maggie is very smart but very clumsy. Mumin is very dumb and very devious. Mumin is, obviously, "my" cat.
This is our son, Ed. Named after the lawyer who owns a bowling alley, Ed Stevens (my partner has requested that if we have children I do not name them after TV shows. I don't know, maybe a child named "Bonanza" is a good thing). Ed's nickname is "The Evil One", which suggests that he is the ringleader of his beloved Evil Bitches.
Now, before you go thinking it, although yes, Ed is a Collie, any similarity to Lassie therein is a mistake. Lassie is a wonderful heroine who saves the day. Ed is not only a male dog, but he could give a shit about any type of rescue issue. Should Timmy fall down a well, Timmy would be fucked. Ed would not go for help. In fact, he would probably go and fetch a stick, dropping it on the poor supine boy and dashing any last hopes of dislodging said small child from the well.
He is a very good dog, though. He is amazingly distrustful and does not like anyone but my partner and I. Although he was bought for me he likes me second best since I do the horrible things to him like cut his nails and tick-check. Word of advice: if you get a dog, make your partner do the unpleasant chores, so that the dog will hate them.
Ed is the best dog I have ever owned in my life. The second-best was a Sheltie, which is really a convenient travel-sized version of a Collie.
These are my children. And they are screwed up enough to be on Oprah, trust me. I think me having the real thing would be a hazard to everyone's health.
-H.
Posted by Everydaystranger at September 9, 2003 01:07 PM | TrackBack