Those who know the real me and my early readers (johnr, darling, I am talking about you) know that I have one screwed-up problem which makes my life very difficult, to say the least.
I am an insomniac.
I Like, a rabid one. Going on 10 months now.
I just don't sleep. I can't sleep. I want to sleep. I think about sleep, and yearn for sleep. But when it comes time to sleep, nada. Doesn't happen. I whirl around in the bed, get my sheets all knotted up, and itty bitty problems become huge. The smallest detail is unsolveable. It no work. My partner and I have not been to bed at the same time in a very long time. One would ask why I don't just stay up and let sleep take me...um, I tried that. Once I hit the 50 hour mark and decided that Cheez-Its were the saviour of mankind, I decided I am not meant to stay up so long. Then again, maybe Cheez-Its are our saviours, I may never know now.
So I have a whole variety of medications to try to solve said problem. They are categorized thus:
- the child tabs. My doctor prescribed me some sleeping tabs that she said "are even used on children". Now, that's all well and good and I don't feel at all like a drug addict, but my question is: who drugs their children to sleep at night? And why? And are these people known to the authorities? I mean, Christ-you can't feed your kids funky muffins here in Sweden but feeding them narcotics must be ok). I do not take these, though, since they make my legs jump around all night. Not an attractive feature in a sleep partner.
- the bitter tabs. These work, but make every single thing you eat for the next 24 hours taste like it had been used in the "Bitter Beer Face" commercials. It even makles the air your breathe bitter. Not that's fucked up.
- the crazy tabs. These are the gold trophies of sleeping tabs. You take them, and at some point- WHAM! You have been knocked upside the head by Mike Tyson wearing two laptops tied to his hands. You get all spacy and weird and have to be escorted to the bedroom at some point in order to keep from curling up and calling it a day in front of the fireplace. I love these ones, but am very worried about the addictive side effects so I try to avoid using them unless in extreme circumstances.
- melatonin. Bought in the US and carried across the Atlantic, I prefer these. The other natural alternatives-valerian and whatnot-do not work. Melatonin are natural and effective, although give me a headache when I wake up. My doctor is 100% against them and wants me to avoid them. Then again, what would she know, she gives sleeping tablets to kids.
Why am I telling you this? In a fit of desperation I have bought this over the web.
I will give it a try tonight and let you know. Chances are my partner unit will not be pleased at falling asleep next to the smell.
-H.
PS- the differences between the numbers in Sitemeter and BlogStats is amazing. I am either a complete failure or a success at this. I like to think I walk the middle line there.