October 19, 2003

Alive and Frisked in Atlanta

Hello! Helen here, alive and a wee-bit jet lagged in Atlanta.

And let me tell you...I have been in airports all over the world. Tel Aviv, Heathrow, Rome...I have been in serious, for-real airports. But I have NEVER EVER been in a security line as bad as the one in Atlanta. And after a 9 hour flight from London Gatwick, smelling a bit ripe and FEELING pretty ripe, too, I can tell you-that line is the last thing you want (luckily, it only took an hour and a half to get out of the airport, and they didn't find my vibrator. OK, actually I brought two of them. And a pair of handcuffs. I imagine you think I am kidding, but I really am not :) You never know when John Cusack is going to call to ask for his wild monkey sex).

I was tired. Fucked up tired, you could say. I was so tired that I laughed out loud during a showing of "Charlie's Angels 2".

Now that's tired.

I had been stuck on a plane with a non-reclining seat behind a woman that insisted on reclining hers ALL THE WAY during the entire flight. And if I accidentally bumped hers, she would sit up and slam backwards into the seat, winging it backwards into my knees. Now, I am very fidgety, very tall and have very long legs, so I wound up getting punished a lot. Said knees are now black and blue, and how the hell do I explain to Partner Unit that I got black and blue knees from a flight, and not from administering tag-team blow jobs?

My friend Jim picked me up (no, not Jim of SBD. I imagine his wife would have been pretty weirded-out to see a chick from Sweden showing up on her doorstep unnanounced, even one bearing French chocolates and wine.) Jim and I have been friends since we met working at Company X almost 5 years ago. I'm crashing at his place, and we are drinking up a storm. And more alcohol to come shortly, while we play a drinking game to "our" movie "So I Married an Axe Murderer" ('Harriet....Sweet Harriet!')

Pics of Luuk (and me!) are coming soon-I am on a borrowed PC, and unable to download the pics right now, but should be coming Monday. I think I am in love with that bear. I just like to have him near, even in my bed. Maybe I am regressing.

Good thing I am in therapy.

The past few days have been interesting, and I have a lot of writing that I will post from my pc on Monday. But I thoroughly enjoyed myself in England Wednesday to Friday. I wound up staying in a little inn on a coastal town called Whitstable after my meeting ended on Thursday. And then I took the Chunnel, which I had never done before.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, and indeed it proved it was.

I took the Chunnel to Calais (where I went mad buying French wine, chocolates, and goodies for people. And some champagne for me, because come on, my darlings-it's always better with champagne!), then drove on to Veurne in Belgium, where I stopped, had a wonderful lunch, and bought Luuk. Luuk has become even more special to me, since his head fell off and Dear Mate took some time Thursday evening sewing his head back on for me. For some reason, it has upped his precious value, since someone who means so much to me took the time to fix my bear, just to make me happy.

Now I am struggling with the jet lag, and much love to the ones who gave me advice on places to go in Atlanta! I didn't bring any cute clothes, only business suits and airplane-wear, so I think I will be skipping the bars.

And what have I done in the US? I have had Starbucks. And 5 margaritas. I bought a pumpkin hat for Ed the Evil One, since dressing up the dog makes me laugh and humiliates everyone else. I have already dumped a lot of money at Bath and Body Shop, Banana Republic, and Gap.

And yes...I bought another kilt (and debating buying another, shorter one). If people are nice here, I will post a pic.

Anyone miss me?

-H.

Posted by Everydaystranger at October 19, 2003 12:35 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I need my daily dose! I need my daily dose! Hey! Glad to read your latest posts. I would KILL for french chocolates right now!

Posted by: Melodrama at October 20, 2003 07:35 AM

We miss you already. Now will you please start masturbating online like a normal Everyday Stranger again? ;-)

Posted by: David at October 20, 2003 05:45 AM

Have you been away? :-)

I'm looking forward to Luuk's blog, "UnBEARable Travels". Or "Everday Bear".

Posted by: Simon at October 20, 2003 04:30 AM

Come back! Come back! Quick! Of course we miss you.

Posted by: Howard at October 20, 2003 04:09 AM

I clearly have an Internet addiction problem. Mucho postage coming tomorrow, my darlings, when I have full access (I'm tapping my veins in my elbow now. Preparing full Internet injection, followed by bloggage rush. Cyber-speed, the cyber-sex of the new century.)

And Jim-I remembered your wife is German. My stepfather is German, and I have a load of German chocolates for him. I think your Lovely Wife would like me just fine!

More tomorrow!

Posted by: Helen at October 19, 2003 11:09 PM

Can't. Sleep. Miss. Helen.

Posted by: jean at October 19, 2003 11:03 PM

For French chocolates my Lovely Wife would have kicked me out of the bed and invited you into it. LOL

"Luuk, I am your father."

Posted by: Jim at October 19, 2003 03:03 PM

..and now a breaking story....

This just in, "A bar in Austin stopped arguing about whether Miller light was less filling or tasted great in order to chant in unison."

"What are they chanting Dan?"

"Well Phill," Dan said as he covered one ear,"I think they are chanting 'Post pics, Post pics.' I am not sure of the meaning of it yet, but I can see the leaders standing on the bar.... yes I can see them now, one is drinking a beer through a straw, another is grabbing the tap of Killians and spraying the crowd. It's insane Phil."

"Can you find out any more information Dan?"

"No Phil, I can't. That is all"

Posted by: pylorns at October 19, 2003 07:37 AM

You are definitely missed!

Posted by: Sue at October 19, 2003 06:20 AM

..LUUK.

Posted by: Jamie at October 19, 2003 05:14 AM

H,
I loved London also, the Chunnel was wonderful and the 14 days I spent in Belguim...Fabulous!
But...
So glad to hear that you made it safely to the States.
Enjoy it while you are here, I look forward to pics of you and Luuk.
Also, if you find yourself in Alpharetta, do the pagent wave to my "Mr. Atlanta".

Posted by: Vix at October 19, 2003 03:25 AM

we miss you terribly!!!!

Posted by: MiMo at October 19, 2003 12:55 AM
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