When I was in the US over the holidays, I got to attend one of the games that my sister was working at. My sister is a professional cheerleader, you see, and this was the first time I would be able to see her in action, so to speak.
I was very nervous, actually-she had to be at the game an hour ahead of time, so Partner Unit and I made ourselves at home walking around the arena, checking out the shops, and indulging in a drink at the bar. We had about 45 minutes to just knock off-they would be announcing the cheerleaders (including my sister) 15 minutes before game time.
15 minutes before game time, we rushed to our completely fabulous seats, and lo and behold there it was-the cheerleaders were posted on the jumbotron one by one, to the wild cheers and catcalls of the audience. They went through the team one person at a time, and there, second to the last, was my little sister.
And-as they say-the Helen went wild.
Here was my little sister. 7 years my junior, she was always the world's most precious thing to me when we were younger. When our parents split up the second time, my mother had to work her ass off to support us both since my father decided that child support wasn't really his thing, so it was up to me to take care of my little sister more often than not.
And in time I grew to be like her second mother-putting her to bed, making dinners, spending time after school together. When my mom was dating and I was 14, sometimes my mom would stay at her boyfriend's (the man who is now our stepfather), and I used to curl onto the couch all night and watch the same videos over and over again-"Goonies" and "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom". I just stayed up watching it, watching over the house, watching over my little sister.
And when the fights would get bad between my folks as we grew up, my goal was just to get my sister out of the house. Away from it. We would shuttle ourselves in my room, turn the music up to drown out the screaming and yelling, and just try to make ourselves immune. When I was able to drive, we would hustle off as fast as possible to the local ice cream shop, making a cup of ice cream last as long as possible in an effort to dawdle, not wanting to get back to the House of Pain.
I always simply wanted to protect her from everything. I didn't want anyone or anything to get close enough to hurt her. I remember spending time dressing her up. I remember us playing "Taxi" using the porch swing. I remember giving her airplane rides out on the side lawn (wildly enough, she used to scream with laughter when I would let her go, letting her fling onto the lawn).
She was my little sister...my painfully shy, painfully reticent little sister.
Things weren't always rosy. In a tribute to the environment around us, sometimes fights would get ugly, and would get that way fast. I remember one day she flung a drawer of steak knives at me. But then another day, I remember empyting an entire rack of tupperware glasses at her. And you could never wake her up in the morning-she is one of those seriously NOT morning person types-we're talking World War III level histrionics here. We would get into blistering fights that would be all done by the time Mom got home.
When I left home at 17, my sister and I started to drift apart. When I moved back to the area, she and I had a standing Friday night movie date. We went to the films every Friday, even if nothing interesting was on. It was our tradition. We shared books and music. I stole her clothes, she stole mine.
But since I have left the U.S. we have really grown apart-not making the time for each other in our lives has brought about the loss of one of the most important people in my heart. We don't speak much, not even by email. And sometimes I find that I miss her so much that I can't stand it.
So it's at this game that I found my sister has grown into something so different. Her shyness is gone. She has gusto and bravado. She takes masses of time and care with her makeup and hair, and is hyper-conscious about her clothes. She even wears tight clothing now (so I no longer borrow her clothes-I am not about to attempt to wear an XS, thank you very much).
And during the game break, when she went out there and performed with her squad...I felt so proud of her. So happy for her, and so amazed at the person she has become. It's as though she is finally coming into her own, and I love that for her.
The little girl in the row ahead of me turned to me and showed me a picture in the program. It was the cheerleading team, and she pointed to my sister.
"She looks like you." she said softly.
I was stunned-what a remarkable gift for a little girl to have. She is only the second person in the world ever to remark that my sister and I look alike-my sister has the olive Asian skin, and I have the white-on-white European looks. But this little girl saw through color, and went right to what's at heart.
"That's my little sister." I said proudly. "That's why I am here tonight."
And after the game, I hugged my sister and listened to her talk and gossip for ages about the team, about women I didn't know and wouldn't know. But I was just so happy for her, just so thrilled at the person she had become. She had come out of her coccoon a much better person than I am, and I love her for it.
The next morning I had to wake her up, which I dreaded, knowing the row it would (as usual) induce. So I sat on her bed and grabbed her toes.
"Hey you," I said softly. "I just wanted you to know how great your game was last night, and that I am so proud of you that I could've bursted last night. You looked so beautiful, I am so proud of you."
And my very precious little sister sat up in bed, smiled, and we went downstairs together.
-H.
PS-delay of one week to my work visa. I am literally eating myself up inside with stress and worry about it.
Posted by Everydaystranger at February 6, 2004 06:07 AM | TrackBack
... hello? Anyone home? Miguel.
Posted by: msd at February 9, 2004 06:39 PMThat was v.sweet and I know the exact feeling. I feel that way when I see my younger brother achieve anything. My brother's 5 years younger than I am and I love him to bits. My sister's older to me by 2 years and both stay across the country and more than anything else, I wish we lived geographically closer. I used to have huge fights with my sister and brother too, and I and my sister used to throw my brother out of our rooms, now when I see him I feel a soft glow of pride and love to see the sensitive, polite and talented young man he's turned into.
Posted by: plumpernickel at February 7, 2004 10:21 AMMy immediate reaction to this post? Track down sports team websites with pictures of cheerleaders and try to pick out your sister. But I'm neurotic like that.
Posted by: emily at February 7, 2004 07:26 AMI have a little sister three years younger than me. We've only become close recently as i went to boarding school when i was 15 and she was 12 and we had just begun to entertain the idea that we could be friends and not just fight all the time.
Five years later i'm away at school again, but we now talk on the phone for hours. I give her advice on boys and how to deal with our overly protective parents. I worry about her so much (she's dating a hockey player right now! NOOOOOOO!!!) but i'm so proud of how well she's growing up.
We still fight, but miguel was right, there is a completely unconditional love. Even when i want to punch her in the face she's still my baby sister and i still love her.
Posted by: Laura at February 7, 2004 05:59 AMSiblings are a great anchor (or albatross) to our past. I love my brothers more than anyone in the world except for super-model Mrs. Solomon, Angel1, & Angel2.
I would kill in a heartbeat to protect them and not think twice about it.
Posted by: Solomon at February 6, 2004 09:54 PMWhat an awesome story! I mean, its a bummer that you've grown apart but that's part of life. Proximity would have made it easier to stay closer but distance makes it hard.
I don't know that I've grown apart from my family living on the east coast and I'm on the west coast but I do miss their company sometimes. I just wish they'd realize that winter sucks and would move out here.
Posted by: Johnny Huh? at February 6, 2004 09:45 PMwhat a lovely story about your sister.
i was a fill-in mom for my siblings too, so i know that feeling of pride. i've had it watching my little sister play college rugby and my little brother opening his first sales office.
i bet your sister misses you too.
and i've got my fingers and toes crossed about your visa! ack, waiting sucks!
i suggest you do something fun this weekend. go see a funny movie, have a good laugh, get a massage, do something loverly just for you.
Posted by: kat at February 6, 2004 07:15 PM
Sisters are great to have. You don't always get along with them 100% of the time but I love my two sisters dearly. I'm the big sister in our family. And I'm proud of my sisters as well. Have a fine weekend. Godbless.
that lil girl telling u that u look like ur sis was really touchily beautiful
Posted by: Lucidly Awake at February 6, 2004 06:34 PMThey better hurry up and give you that Visa. I'm starting to lose my girlish figure from all these M&Ms.
Airplane rides are the coolest. I haven't done the fling & fly with my boys yet but that's mostly because we've tended to do the rides inside the house so far. Lovely Wife takes a dim view of children bouncing off of the walls.
Posted by: Jim at February 6, 2004 04:29 PMGreat to hear that you have (or are getting back) some of that relationship with your sister --
Growing up, I was the oldest, and my sister is four years my junior -- It was highs and lows, and all that -- but I was the only one allowed to mistreat her or call her names -- dreadful was my wrath if anyone else did ...
anyway, I went off to college, and then "jumped the puddle" and basically lost track of the family as a whole -- prolly partly because I wanted to, and partly because things just sometimes happen that way -- I came back home, and was just in time to go on a seemingly endless set of high school proms with all of her friends -- something about being a "nice guy" -- 'nuff said
but we started getting close again once I was back -- and it was awkward, because I had done a lot of growing, and she had done some, and we weren't really the same people any more ... and now she wants to be a missionary -- and I am supposed to be her first "convert" -- trying times are ahead ...
but we persevere, because at the end of the day, these people really are family -- they were there from the beginning, and they know most of the secrets, and most of the buttons to push ... and you just can't escape them without it being almost more trouble than it is worth ...
Either way, the "point" to this seemingly-pointless ramble is that I am happy for you that you are getting back to a good place with your sister, and I'm still pulling for you and the Visa (and I remember - no lizards!)
Tioraidh!
Kylan
Posted by: Kylan at February 6, 2004 04:03 PMMy brother and sisters could be serial killers, maniacs, plain terrible persons. And still I would love them. They have theyr problems, shortcomings, but nothing like the fucked up older brother I am. But I love them all, and worry a lot about them. Why is it that love is so unconditional when blood is involved? Any toughts? Love, Miguel.
Posted by: msd at February 6, 2004 02:42 PMI know exactly how you feel Helen. My little brother is four years my junior and growing up I took care of him under the same circumstances you took care of your sister. We haven't kept in touch as much as I would like since I moved to Australia four years ago, but my mom keeps me up to date on everything he does. I'm so proud of him. I hope our reunion is a wonderful as yours was with your sister.
Posted by: Morgan at February 6, 2004 01:31 PMAh, beautiful.
Posted by: Meg at February 6, 2004 11:32 AMLittle sisters(brothers) grow up too you know >>grin
Posted by: LarryConley at February 6, 2004 11:19 AMWhat a beautiful tribute...
Posted by: jenifer at February 6, 2004 09:23 AM
That's a great story about your sister. I only have one sister, 6 years older than me, and there are 3 brothers in between us..and 1 younger than me. I love all my brothers to death, and can't wait until next month when they will all be here together for a week, but me and my sister have a special relationship. She's one of my best friends. I don't know what I'd do without her.
That's a cool story. Sounds like it won't take much for U2 to get back on track in the communication department after that visit.
PS: Good luck with the Visa action. I did a Euro gig years ago and know what it's like waiting for the red tape to untangle.
Posted by: Curator at February 6, 2004 08:12 AMThe way you speak of your sister here, it's really lovely. Your pride in her accomplishments really shows. I always thought I would have liked to have had a sister. Instead I was blessed with an older brother who thought it absolutely hilarious to tickle someone (me) until they puked. But I guess that's what brothers are supposed to do.
Posted by: Sue at February 6, 2004 08:07 AM