Mr. Y and I have been looking for accommodation.
The flat with Lloyd is very convenient for his job (it's a 5 minute walk), but it takes a very long commute for me into London, so we've decided to move somewhere that allows me to arrive into Waterloo Station (anyone think of Abba?) instead of Paddington Station.
And after spending two days tramping up and down England looking at properties, we've narrowed it down to two.
The agony.
One of them is in a town that sounds like the name of a poncy Harvard student. We can never remember the name, and when we do remember it we get it wrong, so we've taken to calling it Whitney Houston. The other option is in a very large town called Guildford, but I felt so bad for Whitney Houston being called its wrong name that I started calling it Grab Bag.
So we turn to each other from time to time, like a quiz show host: "What's it going to be, Whitney Houston or Grab Bag?"
The Whitney Houston one is a mid-terrace number in a small village, with a front and rear garden, hard wood floors, refurbished, and is on the edge of an enormous cricket green and its pub. Now, I still don't know much about cricket (sorry, Simon), but I can see the attraction of watching a game in the sunny warmth.
If that ever happens.
The other one is a detached house, in a big town, with paved gardens and pink carpets. I have clearly been in Sweden too long, as I now just hate carpets. I look at them and think of the whole legions of mites, filth, and dust waiting to attack my nasal passages. That all of those commercials I saw as a kid with the evil dust bug in animated glory perhaps really does have something to it. Give me hardwood floors and wear out my socks any day.
It's when we are looking at homes that the differences between our languages really comes to play. We go to a realtor (estate agent) and look at property to rent (let). We see one duplex (semi-detached) that is quite lovely on the outside, but on the inside it's horrible. Wood-paneled walls, brown kitchen tile, brown shag-pile carpeting (as you know, a shag is something different in England). I hated it on first site.
The agent turns to Mr. Y and I, who are standing there with pasted-on smiles of horror.
"What do you think?" Agent-man asks.
"It needs some updating." Mr. Y says nicely.
"It looks like the Brady Bunch!" I wail.
They both look at me blankly.
Ohmigod, they have no idea about the Brady Bunch.
"I have no idea what she's talking about either." says Mr. Y to Agent-Man.
"You know? It's a story...of a lovely lady... " I start singing falteringly.
They blink.
"Who was bringing up three very lovely girls...? " I sing, ending it as a question.
It's a no-go.
Anyway, we should know within a day or so if we will be living in Whitney Houston or Grab Bag, either of which nickname sounds vile.
-H.
PS-Yesterday was officially my last day of Company X redundancy time. As Jim would say: Company X, FOAD.
PPS-For your voting pleasure-let me know what you think. I like number 2 best, and number 3 are Mr. Y's that I would wear daily if I could get away with it. I'm not embarrassed to have it here-I wear bathing suits more revealing.
Posted by Everydaystranger at May 10, 2004 08:14 AM | TrackBackWhitney Houston is definitely the place I thought it was then. It's a bit more than ten years since we moved away from there, but I remember there being far, far too many antique shops along the main road for a village of that size!
Posted by: Gareth at May 11, 2004 01:49 PMWhat a well-shaped, cute, adorable, beautiful, sexy, lick...
Ahem, where were we? *blush* Oh yeah, my vote goes to #2.
And FWIW, I like Whitney Houston better than the Grab Bag.
Posted by: Gudy at May 11, 2004 12:30 PMEven though i'm partial to pink, i like #1.
And my vote goes to the hardwood floors, soooo much nicer than carpet. Even pink carpet.
Posted by: Laura at May 11, 2004 05:53 AMi vote number two, they are cute. i also like to think that panties are next to the best thing on earth.
Posted by: tommy at May 11, 2004 05:27 AMOh, definately #1. *drools*
Posted by: Heather at May 11, 2004 05:23 AM#1 and Whitney. Definitely.
Posted by: melanie at May 11, 2004 03:28 AMIMHO it's a dead heat (and I do mean HEAT) between 1 and 2. It seems to me that wearing no 3 is a horrible waste as it fails to do justice to H. But no 1 really does give Kylie Minogue a run for her money ;-)
Officer Jim, I'm carrying this over from the last thread just for you (then I'll stop carrying threads over out of respect to H.) I've found that using some of the less popular webmail services such as operamail and Netscape get less spam. Perhaps this because the spammers concentrate more on Hotmail because it gets more traffic - not sure.
Posted by: Steve P at May 11, 2004 03:03 AMI'm so bummed, I picked out all of these fantastic things on the marks and spencer website, and they only deliver to the UK :(
Posted by: liz at May 10, 2004 09:43 PM#1. Definately.
Posted by: ThatGuy at May 10, 2004 08:18 PMI'm very much a variety person, so I'd say #2 most of the time, but #1 some of the time. #1 has that "school girl" quality and #2 is more of a "sexy, silky, feel good against the skin" type of thing which is always nice.
Good luck on the home. And yes, I am appalled that they had not even HEARD of The Brady Bunch.
Posted by: Almost Lucid (Brad) at May 10, 2004 07:35 PMi vote guildford as it is near very near to me, um, but we are voting for knickers right?!
abs x
Posted by: abs at May 10, 2004 07:32 PMSasoozie-it is indeed in Hampshire. So for you and Gareth-switch the W and H around, add a hyphen, make it sound like an Ivy League name, and you have it! :)
Liz-the knickers are from Marks and Spencers. Lots of peopel knock their clothes, but you gotta' love their non-granny style pants!
Posted by: Helen at May 10, 2004 07:28 PMI vote #2..
Boxers get all caught up in the wrong places for me, goodness know how men wear them !..
The Brady Bunch!! I loooooved the brady bunch. I think Mr Y must be showing his age rather than a culture difference.
I am British and a Brady Bunch follower!
I think I know the place you mean for Whitney Houston, is it in Hampshire?
Posted by: sasoozie at May 10, 2004 07:07 PMMy vote is for #2. Looks good!
Posted by: Dave T. at May 10, 2004 06:08 PMHighly recommended: Victoria's Secret low-rise Brazilian lace tangas. Wowza.
Otherwise, #2, darling. But they would peek out of my work chinos...
And please, go for the carpetless house. Carpetless is always good. (Oh lord, I must go have sex now.)
Posted by: Kaetchen at May 10, 2004 05:59 PMI'm with you on #3 for comfort (wubbiness goes a long way in my book) but #2 is more flattering for the female derriere.
Posted by: Marie at May 10, 2004 05:48 PMYou're going to cause me to blow a vein... I'll stump for number 1 AND Whitney Houston.
Posted by: zeno at May 10, 2004 05:34 PMThe second one is by far the cutest! They look great!
Posted by: Talia at May 10, 2004 05:29 PM#1 and #2 ...
Posted by: pylorns at May 10, 2004 05:14 PMWell, let's see...I think your butt is the best shown off with number one, meaning you can tell with number one that it's quite nice. But for some reason, I prefer number two...
I also like number three, but I think that's just because I love boxers. The first two are certainly more flattering.
Posted by: the girl at May 10, 2004 04:40 PMNumber two is cut perfectly for your body. Number three looks cuddly. :)
Posted by: Ember at May 10, 2004 04:34 PMWHERE did you get #2.. I MUST have them!
Posted by: liz at May 10, 2004 04:19 PMNumber 1, with number 2 as a close second and number 3 bringing up the rear nicely.
By the way, I live in Atlanta and Whitney Houston and Grab Bag are the same thing.
Posted by: Jim at May 10, 2004 03:41 PMOk, my votes go for #2... I'm a sucker for a good-cut boy pant in colors. :)
I'd probably go for Whitney Houston because of the amenities, but there is something to be said for a single family (detached) house.
Okay... Now I know what boy pants are... I also think several dictionary's have a new way to define "cute butt" =)
I will have to go with the crowd on this one, #2 is a pretty clear winner, although I think #3 is probably not being done justice by the photo.
Had I known playing stupid would would generate such great rewards I would have started a long time ago :-)
Ahhh, what's a thong? hehe
Whitney Houston sounds like the ticket, how can you go wrong with a pub stumbling distance away?
Posted by: Dane at May 10, 2004 01:41 PMEven before I read the next line, I DID think of ABBA. People give me grief everytime I tell them how much I like ABBA, but they really had some great songs.
I like small towns.
What's a "paved garden"? That seems contradictory.
Posted by: Solomon at May 10, 2004 01:39 PMWeird - judging by the description and nickname, I think I lived in Whitney Houston for about nine years when I was growing up. I even played cricket on that green.
I went to school in Guildford for a few years too. I think that's the nicer place out of the two, but it all depends whether you prefer village or town life.
Posted by: Gareth at May 10, 2004 01:27 PMteehee, what a cute butt you have!
yeah, number 2 is the best.
i love apartment hunting, something so exciting about it...all the potential. and sweden or no, i'd have trouble with pink carpets too!
Posted by: kat at May 10, 2004 01:15 PMI 'm in complete agreement with Layne, although for just lounging around the house #3 probably has the easiest access...
I really think I need more pictures to make a proper decision. And larger files. Perhaps some video?
Damn. Now I can't go to work. If you're going to keep posting this sort of thing I'll have to stop looking at this blog first thing in the morning... ;-)
Posted by: Easy at May 10, 2004 01:15 PMAs a lonely voice in the wilderness here, I vote for Number 1.
I enjoyed the image of the Brady Bunch concert very much.
As for ABBA, I immediately went, . . . Napoleon did surrender.
Finally, having enjoyed the experience of watching cricket in the summer from a pub on a village green, and also perferring hardwood floors, I vote for the cricket place. Besides, I have a friend who says that the only reason people have wall to wall carpet is so that the can drag their naked butts across it. She killed wall to wall for me.
Posted by: Random Penseur at May 10, 2004 01:14 PMNumber 2wo it is.
Posted by: Curator at May 10, 2004 01:06 PM#1 or #2, I'm not picky. #3 I'd take off you and keep off you. If, you know. We were doing that kind of thing.
I like your description of the place in Whitney Houston. Maybe because I've only seen cricket on TV. I bet it would be cooler experienced live, just like baseball. And you could send down to the pub for drafts, how cool is that? Makes my suburban gulag here in Mini-soda seem even suckier -- although my weather is better right now, sorry!
Posted by: Layne at May 10, 2004 12:50 PM2. 3 never. 1 needs refurbishing, no? ;-). Simon does have a point... and I will now get out of the closet with the iBook under my arm, trying to look casual, eh eh eh. Miguel.
Posted by: msd at May 10, 2004 12:08 PMImage #2...those workouts are really working too :)
LOL at The Bray Brunch singing..I can't believe the syndication didn't make it to England...yet!
Posted by: jimi at May 10, 2004 12:08 PMxlnt - you sang to an estate agent ... and then posted pants. I think this is one of my more odd Mondays so far.
Oh and number 2 if I had to choose - THINK PINK!
Posted by: Rob at May 10, 2004 12:07 PMFirstly, the cricket pitch one is the palce to go no matter what. It'll be worth it when you get that first ball through the window.
Secondly, posting pictures like that is only going to lead to trouble. For me. Now I can't leave my desk for another 5 minutes. That said, I vote for Number 4...none of the above.
;-)
Posted by: Simon at May 10, 2004 11:06 AM