October 06, 2003

But Baby It's Cold Outside!

Something got me thinking this weekend about the subject of foreskin.

As one does, when one has too much time on their hands.

Anyway, it occurred to me that there are vast differences between the guys with turtlenecks and those that are V-necks. They approach sex and oral sex differently, plus hand jobs are a whole other world. And snipped guys are much more sensitive about the subject of snippage than those who still have their dangly bits.

I tried to discuss this with Partner Unit.

Me: Honey, have you given much thought to the fact that you are circumcised or not?
Him: Er, no. Why? Are you threatening to cut my dick off?
Me: No no, nothing like that. Although I do offer my surgical services, and that offer shall stand. I was thinking more like, do you ever give it any thought to what your life would be like had you been circumcised?
Him: I am pretty sure that it would not have made a fundamental difference. Like, I would be neither a successful banker nor a homeless guy simply because my dick had been altered.
Me: OK. Just wondered if you have ever felt left out. You know, since your skin hangs low.
Him: Nope. I am pretty much ok with that.

As he should be. Except for the majority of American men and those with a religious preference, the population of men in the world is largely slack. Their turtlenecks hang like so much delicate flesh off the end of their dicks, not unlike the skin of a freshly sheared fish. And for circumcised men, what you see is what you get. There is no hesitant popping out of the turtle-head as the heat is turned up in bed. They come right at you with the head of their cocks firmly out for all to see, raring to go.

Now, seeing as I have been with both turtleneck and V-neck men, I can verify that they like the action differently in bed. Of course, this is a generalization, since I have not been with them all (so no offers, thanks), but I can say that with the ones I have been with, the action is slightly different.

First off, most of my experience prior to my travelling the world had been with circumcised men. You know, that noble lot that had had their willies attacked with a knife before they had a choice. Their protruding little soldiers always hang out, like those Spanish troubadour helmets you picture Don Quixote wearing.

V-neck guys like their oral sex easy, too-you take the tip of your tongue and touch it to the underside bumpy bit that aligns with scarring of the procedure, and the guys go nuts. They love it. Apparently, getting axed up a bit makes the already sensitive part on the guy even more sensitive. Since it is more prevalent in means more than one guy comes off the bed when you touch it.

Now, the first time I "lent a helping hand", I took a bit of the skin and stretched it over the top, as a way of easing the friction that had been going on (relax, I wasn't milking the guy, I was just worried he would rub too much). To say the guy flipped out would be an understatement. After I had pried him off the ceiling and promised him I would cut my hand off before I would ever do that again, he said:

Him: Oh my God, what are you doing?
Me: I am just using the skin to try to help out, ease the way.
Him: Don't do that! Don't ever do that! Don't make the tip of my Cadillac of Love disappear like that! He and I don't like that!

Hmm...curious. Since I am very inquisitive (and just a little bit mean) I decided I needed to see if this was the case for all circumcised men. I am not saying I was polling people, using a clip board and graphing my results (right: subject 9436-B: obvious obversion to coverage. Foreskin sensitive, not to be used to attach tire swing to). But I tried to remind myself to check out to see if weird flippy boyfriend (and, I must add, the worst sex I ever had) was the norm.

He was.

Every guy after wigged out when I gently pulled the rather taut skin over the top. It was conclusive-not only do men not like imagining what their lives would be like with a spare sheath over their sword, they don't like being reminded of what their lives would be like had their turtle shell still been in place.

Now uncircumcised guys tend to loooooovvve having the skin pulled over the Head Boy in Charge during hand activities (or at least the ones I have been with!). Combine that action with a little bit of mouth when you reach the top, and said boys come unglued. And if you are really talented and can ease your tongue inside their flap of skin, they sign blank checks and let you go to Agent Provacateur without a second thought.

I own more than one soul of a partner from that patented technique.

I also love the fact that there is that little portion of skin hanging loose. It's rather like opening up a present, as it gets excited it emerges from its shell. You see it coming as it pokes its head out to investigate. I love trying to tease it from the cave, watch it smile, and then make it dance.

And then, when it slides back into place after a little bed romp, you can see it is just a little bit damp in there, a combination of me and him. A little souvenir. Something to mark the occasion by.

Gee...What's not to like about being uncircumcised?


Posted by Everydaystranger at October 6, 2003 10:12 AM | TrackBack

You know what you wrote about cut guys not enjoying having the "taught skin pulled over the top" was really fascinating.

As an uncut guy I always felt a little isolated. I was born in England (where genital cutting rituals aren't performed in hospitals on infants) but grew up in the States where there's this weird middle class tribal tradition of slicing and dicing newborn boys' penises. Not that I'm being unpatriotic you understand; I just think that the Constitution ought to protect new borns as well as adults.

Anyway, I never realised that you could pull the taught skin up over the head (largely because I was uncut and I've never touched another guy's penis!) until I heard other guys talking and watched some porno flicks. I then realised that a lot of cut guys seem to masturbate by jerking what remains of their foreskin (the stump?) up and down so I was surprised to read that most guys don't like this.

I have no doubt that this has been your experience though. Perhaps it depends on the individual guy or on how tight his cut is e.g. maybe it's painful to pull on guys who have a tight cut but guys with looser cuts wank more like intact guys? I don't know.

Anyway, here's a link which I ran accross of guys pulling their foreskin stumps forward with tape and, over time, stretching them so as to "restore" their foreskins. I thought you might find it interesting:


Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Posted by: Steve at January 15, 2004 12:45 PM

I encountered my first turtleneck this past weekend. It was dark, and he was born and raised in California, so who knew?!

Anyway, I instinctively did the flappy foreskin over the top trick and tickled him inside. Swear to god, the man screamed. It was loverly.

You rock, by the way.

Posted by: Kaetchen at October 8, 2003 12:10 AM
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