February 12, 2004

And In Further News...

...word is that my visa is under review by the UK government but may take up to 5 weeks to render a verdict, as the government is under a heavy backlog.

I now not only don't know if I will get the visa, but I also am heading towards losing Dream Job.

I have logged back in on all the job sites, and am heavily aware that I may be job hunting again shortly. In the meantime, I am a fucking mess, and all I can think is that I have to get out of this fucking house in this freezing country and try to build myself back up again after fucking Company X.

And all I can think is...what's the fucking point?

If anyone needs me, I will be in bed.


Posted by Everydaystranger at February 12, 2004 04:00 PM | TrackBack

Oh Jeez, Kaetchen's comment made it worthwhile to drag my ass out of the bed. Thanks for the laugh, gorgeous.

Butterflies, Sue, JaxVenus, Augustijn, and all the others-I am happy to report that I have dragged my ass out of bed.

Tom-Europe doesn't suck. Really, it doesn't.

Donna-you have no idea, but your comment actually made me feel better. Maybe I should post it next to the bed, to ward me off getting back in there.

Posted by: Helen at February 13, 2004 08:36 AM

All the best. I hope the best for you.

Posted by: plumpernickel at February 13, 2004 05:55 AM

Get out of bed already:) Go to the mall or something,smile at someone,...
I know what depression is and so do you...its supressed anger.SO get angry,ring a lawyer and fight girlfriend!

Posted by: butterflies at February 13, 2004 03:25 AM

Haven't you realized that Europe sucks? Move back to the land of plenty. American needs more cynical people.

Good luck though.

Posted by: Tom at February 13, 2004 01:41 AM

Dear God,

Please stop fucking with Helen. She's had enough. Orgasms are nice and everything, but how about a visa? But don't stop with the o's, either.


Posted by: Kaetchen at February 13, 2004 01:15 AM

Is there anything that Dream Job can do to push the UK people a little?

And is this a separate thing from the citizenship issue? That is, if you get citizenship, does that make the UK Visa thing moot?

Posted by: Jiminy at February 13, 2004 01:02 AM

Wish I could help, but since I can't, please know that I'm praying for you, and hoping it will all work out for the best in the end. I agree with the rabid visa lawyer idea, it can't hurt. Somehow, someway, it will all work out the way it's meant to in the end, and you will be fine and happy. I have faith in you.

Posted by: JaxVenus at February 13, 2004 12:50 AM

All I can say is "awwww shit." Sometimes that's all you can say.

I agree with Jim. It may well be worth your time and money to hire a mean immigration attorney. I would at least look into it.

Good luck, Helen. I wish you the best always.

Posted by: Rob at February 12, 2004 11:43 PM

Stay on writing, keep very close to the edge of your feeling and if it is too much too blog use it later.

On the lighter side of it all, you and the rest of the girls have at least a wishlist for men. Me and my friends sometimes sit together after the next round in relationship wars and only wish we could start a monastry again.

Then someone proposes beerbrewing and nunneries as adornment and we realise we will never keep faith. Maybe a wishlist is more realistic.

Posted by: augustijn at February 12, 2004 11:05 PM

Got my fingers crossed for you, kiddo.

Posted by: Marie at February 12, 2004 10:12 PM

As always my thoughts are with you. What I wouldn't give to be able to drop in and drag your ass out of bed. Since I can't do that, I'll just continue to think good postitive thoughts for you and send you lots of **HUGS**

Posted by: Sue at February 12, 2004 09:34 PM

I've been in bed for the last day or so too with a horrible cold. And I found your blog. And read it from the beginning.
Do you realize how far you've come since you started this blog?
Do you realize how much more healthy you are mentally?
Do you realize how much everyone who reads this blog has come to like you and care about you?
You WILL survive this too.
You WILL be happy at home as well as at work someday.
You can't have it all, all at once, sad but true.
BUT, you are working in the right direction, and really isn't the most important thing that you are comfortable in your skin and that you know you are loved, by not one but alot of people?
You still have until May. Alot can and will happen before then. The scariest thing to people is change. But of all the people I've ever "known" (because I don't really "know" you), I think you are probably more adept at handling change than anyone else. Get out, move walk run, talk talk talk to your friends. Don't drink so much, it's making you more depressed. Think about prozac or something similar. It's one of those drugs that is like taking an aspirin when you don't necessarily have a headache. If you don't need it, it doesn't make any difference, if you do, it does. (Stepping off my soapbox now) except to say, it will be better. Maybe not this minute. Maybe not this week. But trust me, it will. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. And baby, you're plenty tough already.

Posted by: Donna at February 12, 2004 08:50 PM

Don't forget. You can always get US financial aid to go to school in the UK. It's easy to get a UK visa to study there, and once you're there, it's not that hard to wangle your way from a student visa to a employed person visa. *hugs* I've got details if you want 'em. Plus, they have a special class of visa that will let you hang out for six months while you make arrangements to study - and if you just happen to land a job in the meantime... ;) Your world is open, hon - don't hang it all on this dream job, lovely as it is.

Posted by: Courtney at February 12, 2004 07:37 PM

I'm useless on these issues, of course, but is it just possible that the company of your dreams might be willing to sponsor you for a temporary period? Do they even do that in the UK?

Barring that, when you do get out of bed, are there people you could network with to see if someone, somewhere, knows someone at the visa office who could get you on the fast track?

I'll keep hoping things work out for you. I'm not going to tell you you aren't your job, because it's no use telling truly driven people "comforting" platitudes like that, but you totally can't stop me embroidering it on a sachet pillow and bribing Peacock to mail it to you.

Just so you know. :)

Posted by: ilyka at February 12, 2004 07:23 PM

I'm with Roger... Can't something temporary be worked out with Dream Job? I cannot for the LIFE of me figure out why it would take 5 weeks to review a visa application. Damn.

Keep your chin up and all that... We're here if the world get's too heavy.


Posted by: KJB at February 12, 2004 06:25 PM

Tomorrow is another day. We must not lose faith. Takecare and Godbless.

Posted by: Vikkicar at February 12, 2004 06:18 PM

These things are out of your control at the moment so keep you spirits up. It is not that the signs are lining up against you but rather just human's being human's and things taking there own sweet time. It is not by any means through anything you have done.

I wish I could send you some hugs but do know I care and will keep praying to keep your spirits up.

Or you jump on a plane and we will take you out for some drinks and some good "eats" in the city that dosn't sleep :)

Posted by: Drew at February 12, 2004 06:17 PM

I realize things are desperate for you right now and it's easy to give into those feelings of dread. Don't do it - it only saps your strength! You see what you want and it's still within your grasp so channel all your energies into fighting for it.

My current company has been going under rapidly for over a year now. If the state's Department of Insurance puts us into receivership it will be THE largest failure of an insurance company in U.S. history.

Some friends got jobs with a spin-off and the rest of us were set adrift in this leaky lifeboat. We have stuck it through some very dark times rowing away despite everyone telling us the situation was hopeless.

Yesterday they officially announced the bulk of our IT staff has been picked up by an outsourcing company, the world's fourth largest employer, with compensation and benefits that will be even sweeter than our current deal. What made the difference is that we believed in ourselves and our abilities even when others didn't. We made our value known to the people that mattered and things eventually fell into place. We all know it could have easily gone the other way so never ignore the value of a little luck on your side too.

You have talent, intelligence, education, and a bright future ahead of you. You know that, Y knows that, and we know that. Ensure whoever can help you in London gets that fucking memo as well!


Posted by: Paul at February 12, 2004 05:56 PM

what you need is a good lawyer, one that is expert in UK immigration law and has the personality of a bulldog. The guy has got to be a real asshole, the kind that comes INTO a room with his pants down, cuz he knows he going to fuck someone.

That, my friend, will cut through more red tape than tons of pestering phone calls or sweet talk from concerned citized Mr Y.

The cost will be worth it.

Posted by: jim at February 12, 2004 05:34 PM

So apparently civil servents are the same everywere... yesterday I almost crashed a pc monitor in one of them! The stink is I really must get her good side, so that my problem (or better the problem of the company I work in...) is solved. So I have to make a good face and be polite. Argh! Be strong Helen, endurance is the name of the game now. "Don't let the bastards get you down" - robert said it best! Miguel.

Posted by: msd at February 12, 2004 05:32 PM

5 weeks!?! Fer chrissakes!

do what robert suggests and keep making noise about it. and don't give up!

i'm thinkin of ya and sending ten pounds of visa-getting-good-vibes your way. xoxox

Posted by: kat at February 12, 2004 05:30 PM

3 of my favorite Englishmen-thanks, me dearies.

But they are definitely getting me down. Mr. Y is on the phone on my behalf-I really am not handling today well at all.

Posted by: Helen at February 12, 2004 05:19 PM

Hang in there.

I know our civil servants are a bunch of lazy,incompetant,ignorant,rude,idiotic,chaotic, wouldn't p*** on you if you were on fire b******s, but lets face it, the UK wouldn't be in the state it is today without them!

Don't worry about Dream Job. I'm sure they are more than used to the bizzareness that is the Civil Service and will be prepared to wait.


Posted by: Del at February 12, 2004 04:33 PM

Hey, I don't know the situation but doesn't DJ want you to get some "training" which you are willing to do for "free(cash)"?

Posted by: Roger at February 12, 2004 04:28 PM

H - if dream job wants you they will wait. Besides, most large companies can bring some real pressure to bear on our civil servants. If you don;t want to get them involved then just make sure you give UK immigration a whole storm of shit to deal with. Phone every day, write letters, emails and generally raise a stink - they'll bump you up the pile just to shut you up!

Don't let the bastards get you down ... and take care.

Posted by: robert at February 12, 2004 04:07 PM
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